Lily And Her Assumptions
by Running-On-Air-jjw
Summary: Lily is absolutely positive that Sirius is in love with Remus. Sirius is sure that he most certainly did not love Remus. How many times and how many ways does Sirius have to say it and prove it for Lily to believe him? And, how long does it take for him to see Lily's strange thinking might not be so strange after all? SLASH;WARNING (Light James&Lily)


"You're in love with Remus."

"Pfft. No, I'm not."

"Okay... You'll see."

Sirius rolled his eyes and snickered as Lily flicked her hair knowingly. That girl was so cheeky, honestly. He caught the impish glint in her flashing green eyes and he wondered how most people thought her to be the opposite of mischievous. Sirius knew better. Maybe James did too, had always known, and that's why he fancied her so much. No matter. The cheeky bint was wrong and he was sure of it.

"No, I won't see. We're just..." Sirius trailed off as he tapped his lips, trying to think of the perfect description.

"In love! Sirius, I know love when I see it. You're completely enamored with him." Lily insisted.

"Oh, Lily, I love it when you use big words. It turns me on. But no, I don't love him. I'd prefer your special company, love." Sirius said, winking suggestively.

"Really?" Lily asked, batting her eyelashes in a parody of simpering. Sirius snorted at her. She giggled and motioned for him to turn so she could go at his hair.

"Really. And besides, I don't love Remus just like you don't love James."

Sirius felt her still momentarily as she went at his hair. He waited and eventually, she started running her fingers through his soft, long locks. She cleared her throat and Sirius knew he had struck a nerve. Somewhere deep down, way deep, Sirius knew exactly how Lily felt for James. Sirius also knew it was counterproductive to claim that he didn't love Remus like she didn't love James when Lily had suppressed feelings for the bloke. But, she wouldn't admit so he still won and that's all that mattered to Sirius.

"Yes well... I still think that you do." Lily reiterated as she started braiding his hair. Sirius sighed and closed his eyes. He loved it when someone played with his hair and especially loved it when Lily braided it. McGonagall hated it and took a point off every time but that only added his fondness to the hairstyle.

"Me and Remus are just...close." Sirius murmured.

"Remus and I... And, sure you are. But seriously, you two are just so bloody close." Lily said in a huff. Clearly, she wanted to be right. Sirius grinned.

"Why, Lily, are you jealous? Don't worry, there will always be a special place for you in my heart."

"Yeah?" Lily asked, amused but touched because Sirius had meant it.

"Yeah." Sirius confirmed.

Not many knew it, and most refused to acknowledge it, but Sirius and Lily were very close. Of course, they hadn't always been. It had taken years for them to even call each other by their first names. But, it was a forced potions project they had to work on and a huge fight that had them becoming friends. It ended with them deteriorating into an emotional mess and it took a bit before they became okay. And over the year since then, they'd become comfortable friends, best friends even.

They talked about everything and anything. Lily was the first to know that Sirius didn't really like girls. Sirius was the first to know that Lily had to force herself to keep calling James by 'Potter'. Lily often did things to Sirius' hair, claiming she envied his perfect locks and wished she could have hair like him. Sirius often went shopping with Lily, having quite the fashion sense. People didn't get their friendship and mostly ignored it.

At first, people thought they were dating. James had exploded on Sirius. It turned into a big spectacle and it took weeks for the allegations to get cleared up. But soon, it became clear that they weren't together and James ate his words, feeling guilty and apologizing to Sirius profusely. Sirius forgave him easily enough but refused to stop being friends with Lily and now, he was openly gay. James wasn't worried anymore and actually, he thought it to be a good thing, asking Sirius to put in a few good words to Lily.

"Are you sure?" Lily asked quietly and Sirius knew that Lily meant about Remus.

Sirius rolled his eyes again. Lily was persistent. She seemed to be stuck on the idea that Sirius loved Remus. Which he did, but only as a friend. Just because they were closer than most friends didn't mean a thing. Lily was suspicious and Sirius supposed it was with good reason. Remus and Sirius had a very different relationship than most.

When Sirius said they were close, he meant it. They were very affectionate to each other. It was nothing for Sirius to wrap an arm around Remus' waist and in turn have Remus lay his head on his shoulder. It was nothing for Sirius to lay his head in Remus' lap and in turn have Remus play with his hair as he read. It was nothing to share a chair with Remus only meant for one or nap on the common room couch together. It was nothing to hug and kiss each other's cheeks. They were physically close and emotionally as well.

Sirius chalked it up to them being both canines. Not that he could tell Lily that. They had been best mates for years and Sirius was beyond fond of the shy boy. Sirius and James weren't as close but that was because James wasn't attention starved like he and Remus were. It just felt comforting between them and only Lily thought it more than friendship. But no, Sirius wasn't in love with him. They'd just always been close.

"Positive. Say, did you do your transfiguration essay?"

"Sirius! I'm not letting you copy." Lily hissed, still a stickler for work and rules despite her impishness.

"Aw, come on, Lily-flower! I was too busy mooning over you to pay attention. Your magnificent beauty distracted me, you see."

"Mhm. Why don't you ask Remus? He'll probably let you copy."

"You're not going to let that go, are you? And, no he won't. He will lecture me to death." Sirius huffed.

"Good. I would but I know it would be a moot point." Lily said sternly. Sirius snorted.

"Too right. Now, I'll buy you that white dress we saw in Hogsmeade if you'll let me..."

"Deal."

"Damn. If only all of your admiring teachers could see you now. Falling for bribery. I'm ashamed, Lily Evans."

"Oh, shut up. That dress is cute." Lily said but Sirius could hear the smile in her voice.

"It is and would look really good with those flower patterned flats. You could curl your hair and put on a bit of mascara. Violà. You'd look stunning."

"Oh my! I would. Sirius, you're a genius." Lily hissed excitedly, tugging on a braid in her enthusiasm. Sirius chuckled.

"I know. It's a shame you won't have a reason to wear such a cute outfit." Sirius sighed.

"What!? Why!?" Lily squawked indignantly.

"No date." Sirius explained.

"Oh. Right. Dammit!"

"I'll go with you if you want. Of course, I can go sneak and buy it before the Hogsmeade trip. I can take you out and show you off." Sirius suggested. Lily sighed.

"No, no. I'd want it to count, Sirius. Unfortunately, I'm not your type so that wouldn't work."

"Unfortunately? You want me, Evans?" Sirius asked cheekily.

"Oh hush. You know what I meant." Lily said with a small laugh and gave him a small slap to his shoulder.

"Well, I know this bloke who would go with you. I'm sure the outfit would really count." Sirius suggested in a sing song voice. Lily tutted.

"Sometimes, I am deeply concerned for you. I wouldn't go out with James just to show off a dress."

"But, you'd go out with him then?" Sirius asked with a tiny proud smile. Lily fell silent before clearing her throat.

"That's not what I meant..." She muttered.

"Look, he's matured this year. You've noticed or you would've just venomously denied my accusation. Why don't you just...give it a go? You know you want to and besides, what could it hurt? Who knows? It might just remind you why you don't like him."

Sirius could practically feel her mulling it over. He fell silent, not wanting to push too hard. If he was being honest, and he was, he sincerely hoped she'd say yes. James would be ecstatic and Lily would get to be happy too. Sirius knew that she'd only agree if he appeared flippant but secretly, he was praying and hoping. Maybe, just maybe, she'd agree. Lily dispelled a heavy sigh. Was that defeat? Sirius fought a grin.

"So, that's how it goes? You're too persuasive for your own good, Sirius. Fine but this is for the dress. We clear?" Lily snapped grumpily as if he'd forced her hand. Sirius grinned.

"Ha, yes! This is perfect. After all these years and it's a dress. Oh, the irony. Make it official, Lily." Sirius said almost challengingly as he motioned to James who was playing exploding snap with Remus and Peter.

"Right now?" Lily asked shakily. Sirius vaguely wondered how James had stayed away so long. Normally when Sirius drifted over to Lily in the Gryffindor common room, James followed, leaving Remus and Peter alone.

"Yes, right now." Sirius said, a challenge in his voice for sure now.

"Fine. Potter!" Lily shouted out, sounding determined. James' head snapped up and he blinked over at Lily. A card exploded and James winced but otherwise ignored it. Sirius snickered at his friend's devotion.

"Yes!?" James asked back, half standing in an unsure fashion. Lily's hand appeared in Sirius peripheral vision as she waved James over. James hesitated for a brief moment. Lily never ever talked to him willingly, not like this. Sirius winked at Remus who was looking at him in question. James hurried over.

"Hey James." Sirius greeted smoothly as James walked up.

"Hey mate. Eh, did you need something, Lily?" James asked, ruffling his messy hair nervously. Only Lily could evoke such an action from him.

"Yes. I got a question. Do you know this upcoming Hogsmeade trip?" Lily asked softly. She seemed completely at ease but Sirius begged to differ as her fingers gripped his hair tightly in nerves. James' face went slack and he blinked at her.

"Yes." He said slowly after a moment.

"Do you want to go with me on a date?"

Sirius liked to think that this was a monumental moment for everyone. At this moment he didn't know that these two people would birth the defeater of Voldemort but he did know that James had been after Lily for nearly seven bloody years. And, throughout said years, James had always asked Lily out, not the other way around. After fights, begging, and big spectacles, James had been repeatedly turned down. And now, the refuser was asking him out. Sirius could only imagine how James felt, how many many emotions he had.

Sirius wished he had a camera. James looked like he was going to bloody cry, like he could weep. Maybe it had been his deepest dream to hear Lily say yes and this by far surpassed it. Sirius fought laughter as James was rendered speechless. He inwardly preened at helping get the ball rolling. Lily's grip tightened and he knew she was getting worried. For a second, Sirius thought he should reject her, give her a taste of her own medicine, but that was cruelty at its finest. So, he kicked James lightly in his ankle to get him to react.

"I... Yes. I would love to." James stuttered out, his voice shaking so badly that Sirius had to bite his tongue not to laugh. Lily's grip relaxed.

"Alright then." She said smoothly. James swayed slightly before turning around and slowly drifting up to the dorms in a dazed fashion.

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" Sirius said, finally grinning.

"The world's about to end, right?" Lily choked out. Sirius let out his bark of laughter.

"No, it's not."

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.

"Hey, Padders!" Remus shouted as Sirius headed towards the great hall. Sirius glanced up to see the group plus Lily all standing off to the side. He arched an eyebrow to see Lily and James standing side by side. He walked up, easily slipping in beside Remus. He wrapped an arm around the boy's slim shoulders and grinned at everyone.

"Good morning, friends. Why aren't we at breakfast?" Sirius chirped easily. Lily looked at his arm, and Remus' that was now draping around his waist comfortably, with a great amount of suspicion. Sirius ignored her, dismissing her paranoia.

"Because I was taking the high road." James said simply.

"Translation?" Sirius asked Peter expectantly.

"Sn-...er, Snape is in the doorway and James, in an attempt not to taunt him, decided to wait until he moved on. I stayed and Remus decided to wait for you and Lily just decided to stay with James." Peter said smoothly, after tripping on Snape's nickname.

"Ah, good man, Wormtail. Is he still there?" Sirius asked, leaning around Remus to look in the doorway.

"Yes. Professor Slughorn caught him in the door and is talking his ear off. The poor sod." Remus answered, his breath fanning against Sirius' ear. Sirius shivered unconsciously but Lily noticed.

"Hmm... Should we save him?" Sirius asked, turning his head to look at Remus in question. Lily began hyperventilating because their faces were mere inches apart and it looked like they were about to kiss. Sirius didn't find this odd at all and Remus was completely at ease, nodding his head and smiling.

"We ought to. James?" Remus replied.

"Eh... I suppose." James muttered grudgingly.

"Oh, can I do it this time!? Please, please, please?" Sirius said excitedly, bouncing in place and rubbing against Remus in what looked like a very suggestive way. Lily's eyes bulged.

"No, I got it. I love teasing ol' Sluggy. Ready boys!?" Peter chirped, smiling in a decidedly evil way.

"Go for it, mate." James encouraged.

Peter snickered before breaking away and slowly inching up to Slughorn. Snape caught sight of the marauder and his eyes narrowed in suspicion. Peter gave him an innocent smile before stopping right behind Slughorn. While Slughorn was still yapping to Snape, with precise movements, Peter reached in Slughorn's pocket and pulled out a vial. Snape kept quiet. Peter gripped the vial tightly and arranged his expression into innocence as he tapped Slughorn's shoulder quickly. Slughorn turned away.

"Sir, can I borrow this? Mrs. Norris might react in a pleasurable way to this for all of us students. I can't wait to give you due credit for snuffing out Filch's precious cat." Peter said, flashing the vial and taking off running.

"Wait! Boy, that's not..." Slughorn yelled worriedly before rushing off after Peter whose laughter echoed in their ears. Snape bolted and the remaining marauders burst out in laughter. Lily bit her lip to stop a grin.

"Ah, that never gets old." Sirius sighed happily.

"Onward to breakfast, minions. And Lily, of course." James declared with his usual flourish. Remus looked faintly annoyed at being called a minion and Sirius rolled his eyes fondly.

"So, what made you decide to grant us with your queenly presence, Lily-flower?" Sirius asked as they sat down. Lily sat beside James and Remus sat beside Sirius. It looked so natural.

"I wanted to see something, is all." Lily said simply, eyeing Sirius' arm that still hadn't left Remus' shoulders in a pointed fashion. Sirius narrowed his eyes and huffed.

"I'm sure you did. "

"Yes and I do love it when I'm right." She said smugly.

"You're not!" Sirius shrieked insistently.

"Denial doesn't suit you."

"You're wrong, Lily." Sirius said with a slight scowl.

"Oh yeah? Prove it?" Lily said with a very un-Lily like smirk on her face.

And Sirius, unable to deny any challenge, nodded determinedly. Somehow, and eventually, he would prove it. He didn't love Remus and that was that. Lily had a strange competitive glint in her eyes that Sirius knew to mean that she wasn't going to sit back and just watch. She was going to test him, going to try her hardest to prove that she was right. Sirius most certainly did not feel a sliver of fear and doubt. He did not and _that_ was that.

"What?" James asked in a confused way. Remus looked between Sirius and Lily in curiosity. Suddenly, Remus' body pressed against him felt exceptionally warm and soft and inviting. Sirius dropped his arm and frowned as he immediately wanted to put it back.

"Nothing, James. Nothing at all." Lily said sweetly, smiling brightly at James and grabbing his hand. James nearly swallowed his tongue. Sirius sighed.

It was going to be a long day.

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.

Sirius was frustrated. It was the kind of frustration that made him jittery and cranky. A deep feeling of dread sat in the pit of his stomach and he had the nearly uncontrollable desire to scream himself hoarse. He continuously tapped his foot and he felt like a permanent scowl as etched into his face. He was quiet and brooding so everyone gave him a wide berth. Yes, Sirius was frustrated and it was all Lily's fault.

Why would she ask him to prove something so mundane? Why, when it was blatantly obvious that he most certainly did not love Remus? Why couldn't she just take his word for it and let it go? Why did she have to present him with this...this blasphemy!? She knew he couldn't, wouldn't, refuse a challenge and had very neatly backed him into a corner. Frustrated, indeed. And with very good reason too!

Sirius huffed as he tapped his fingers against the table. They were back in the common room for the night and so, Sirius was planning how he was going to prove that he didn't love Remus. It was harder than one would think. He glanced over at Remus who sat across from him, reading. How was he supposed to prove he didn't love him? It was just one of those known things. Sirius gazed at Remus, thinking deeply and his thoughts drifting as he stared at the werewolf.

Remus was reading, his face deeply concentrated on the book. Sirius hated reading, preferring to organize pranks. Maybe that was some proof. He didn't love Remus because Remus liked to do things he didn't. But honestly, that wouldn't work. One of Sirius' things to do was watch Remus read. He loved, no, he enjoyed the expressions on his friend's face. He liked the smile he got when the book ended on good terms. He liked how Remus carefully turned the pages, cherishing the book. He liked how Remus' eyes lit up as the book progressed. So no, that wouldn't work.

Sirius eyed Remus thoughtfully. Maybe his appearance was proof. As sad as it was, Sirius only dated beautiful people. And, Remus wasn't beautiful. Not in the sense most would think. But, dammit, that wouldn't work either. Sirius loved, no, was fond of Remus' appearance. He liked Remus' bright amber eyes that could either be soft or hard or bright or dim. He liked Remus' thick hair that flopped down in a boyishly cute way. He liked Remus' faint scars that had a story of their own. He liked Remus' smile and laughter and wiry body that was pointy and angular and soft and slightly curvaceous all at once but somehow felt nice beside Sirius. Come to think of it, Sirius thought Remus was beautiful after all

But, he didn't like the important things. He didn't obsess over Remus' lips or hands or scent. Not that Remus didn't have nice lips or hands or scent. Sirius thought so. Remus' lips were pink and looked biteable. Wait, biteable? Sirius nearly hit himself in the forehead. Who thought lips were biteable? Moving on, Remus' hands were soft and his fingers were nimble and sure. Remus' scent was nice too. Chocolate and wet grass and just _Remus_ and Sirius loved, no, liked it. So maybe, this wouldn't work either.

But still, Sirius was not in love with Remus.

Sirius sighed and tried to think back on something that proved he didn't love him. All he could remember was the exact opposite. Did you risk your life and do something illegal for someone you didn't love? It was Sirius' idea to become animagi. Did you fret over someone you didn't love when they were sick? Sirius became a mother hen every full moon. Did you miss someone you didn't love after not seeing them for only an hour and bemoan their missing presence? Sirius nearly died the day after the full moon when Remus was in the infirmary. It was all very, very suspicious.

There was that one time that Sirius had betrayed Remus something terrible. Did you nearly have the one you love thrown into jail for unintended murder? Sirius really wanted Snape gone. But no, it didn't go like he wanted it to. Sirius thought that Snape would get scared earlier than he did and run to safety. He was just so tired of Snape snooping around about Remus' secret. And, Sirius hadn't regretted something so much. He actually broke down and wept when Remus finally and thankfully forgave him. Did you care about someone's forgiveness so much if you didn't love them?

Sirius only had one solution. He had to do the opposite of what had Lily so convinced that he loved Remus. He had to distance himself just to prove he could. He had to calm down on the physical closeness. He had to do basically the opposite of what he regularly did. Sirius felt righteously unhappy at these thoughts. He didn't really _want_ to do this but what choice did he have? He didn't bloody love Remus.

How hard could it be to prove when it was the truth?

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.

.

"Sirius, mate, are you alright?"

"No." Sirius muttered sullenly as he glared at James who was eyeing him in concern.

"Something bothering you? Going through...withdrawal?" Lily hinted with amusement.

"No." Sirius spat, his ire rising. He was seething and sulking and anything to portray his unhappiness. Anything short of crying at the unfairness of it all.

"Where's Remus?" Lily asked.

"Library." Sirius blurted out. It was a knee jerk reaction to just automatically know where Remus was. Lily, however, seemed to think it was a precalculated sign of his affections instead. Her eyes danced in smugness. Sirius glared.

Sirius was no longer just frustrated. He was grumpy, cranky, upset, annoyed, aggravated, snappish, sulking, sullen, and silently seething. He'd never been so full of bitter feelings like this before. Probably because Remus was there. Sirius inwardly tried to beat his traitorous mind in submission and nearly won but then, Remus walked in. Sirius nearly exploded into a million pieces or melted in a pile of wistful too.

It had been three days since Lily's subtle challenge. Also known as three days of hell. Sirius had stuck to his challenge determinedly. He hadn't barely touched Remus and kept all the conversations simple. He kept his distance and even managed to get into a heated tryst with a fiery Ravenclaw. Sirius ended it when the bloke said in a too snooty way that James' hair was a disgrace. If Sirius was one thing, he was loyal, and an opportunist. He was glad it was over.

During these three days, he'd been subjected to Remus' pitiful looks. Remus looked like such a lost puppy without Sirius and damn it all to hell, Sirius felt the same way. But, Sirius wanted to prove Lily wrong. It was just so bloody hard! He missed Remus, more than what was healthy, and he'd been sour ever since. And seeing Remus come in looking so despaired, reflecting how Sirius felt, well, Sirius snapped.

Why should he have to prove that he didn't love Remus? If he knew it, then it didn't matter, right? Who cares what Lily thought!? Why should he have to be so down while she laughed at him? Why should he subject himself to the injustice of it all? Thoroughly worked up, Sirius made a snap decision.

When Remus sank down beside him with an unconscious sigh, a respectable distance away, Sirius just reacted. Screw Lily and her stupid assumptions. Sirius slid across the bench, closing the space, and latched onto Remus. He threw his arms around Remus' neck and buried his face into Remus' shoulder. He nuzzled Remus' throat slightly and breathed a sigh of relief. Immediately, he felt much, much better.

Remus laid his hands on Sirius' back and started rubbing soothing circles. If Sirius had been a dog right then, he would've whined and pressed closer. But, as he wasn't, he simply sighed and snuggled further into Remus' warmth with his eyes closed. He'd never felt so content before. There was no big explosion or spontaneous snogging. Where Lily got the idea that Sirius loved Remus, he'd never know.

"Well, hello to you too. What happened while I was gone? Did McGonagall give you detention again?" Remus murmured into his ear.

"No." Sirius said simply.

"Well?" Remus asked.

"He just missed you, is all." Lily piped up and Sirius tried to ignore the laughter and smugness in her tone. It didn't work at all.

"Is that right?" Remus asked with a doubtful snort. Something about the way he said it, like Sirius could never miss him, made Sirius frown.

"Yes, it is." Sirius answered into his neck. Remus stilled for a moment and Sirius waited.

"Oh."

Sirius refused to pull back. He didn't care that he was draped on Remus like a curtain. He didn't care that he was almost positive that Remus was blushing and had the urge to check. He didn't care that Lily seemed to think he had lost the challenge. He just didn't care.

Sirius turned his head until he could look out in front of him. James was watching them in a bored way as he munched on toast. Peter was studying and forking sausage into his mouth, not even paying them no mind. But Lily, she was watching them in triumph. Her gaze was bright and her green orbs were doing a jig of happiness in their sockets. Sirius met her gaze, relying that no, she hadn't won.

He still didn't love Remus.

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"Come on, don't be so sore with me. How was I supposed to know that you yearned for him so?"

"Lily, shut up."

"Why are you so mad? It was only three days."

"No, it wasn't. I don't love him, Lily, and I've still got to prove it."

"Good job you did yesterday then. Latching onto him like you couldn't live without him. Nothing loving about that at all."

"What part of shut up do you not understand?"

Lily snickered and Sirius huffed. They strolled through Hogsmeade streets together as they headed to a shop containing a certain dress. Sirius was still passing transfiguration and Lily had a date coming up. Sirius frowned and tried to think of a very way to prove Lily wrong. He glanced down at her hand and inspiration hit him. Merlin, Prongs would kill him. But, desperate times called for desperate measures.

Sirius reached out and threaded his fingers through Lily's. He felt her give a start and could feel the sharp gaze she sent his way. Sirius hummed innocently and they loped along. Eventually, she relaxed. Sirius then pulled her into his side and wrapped his arm around her, the way he did Remus. Lily stiffened again and he continued to nonchalantly stroll along. He could feel the hesitation rolling off her in waves. And finally, Sirius abruptly leaned down and kissed her cheek. Lily came to a screeching halt.

"Sirius...?"

"Do you think I love you, Lily?" He asked, dropping his hold on her and backing away. Lily blinked up at him.

"What? No, why would... Oh." Lily said softly. Sirius gave a small nod.

"To me, that felt comfortable. It felt easy and natural. I'm gay, Lily. If you hadn't been so alarmed, you would've found it to be the same way. Because, we're friends and we love each other in a different way. It's the same with Remus." Sirius said. Lily blinked.

"Oh... Is it, really?" She asked, still doubting.

"Yes."

Sirius hated lying to her but he had to prove a point. If he told her that it didn't feel the same way then she'd go back to being smug. If he told her that when he'd touched her it felt voluntary and unnecessary but nice all the same while touching Remus was something of an addiction then she wouldn't believe him. If he told her that letting her go was simple while letting Remus go was always reluctant on his part then she would think she still won. She hadn't because he didn't love Remus.

"Oh." Lily murmured and she looked entirely too disappointed for Sirius' peace of mind. He frowned down at her.

"Don't look so down. I never really lose a challenge. I only accept challenges that I can win. It's no big deal." Sirius said as they entered the shop and made a beeline for the dress. Lily bit her lip.

"So, you really don't love Remus?" She asked hesitantly and discouraged as they headed to the counter.. Sirius waited until he paid and they left the shop to answer.

"I really don't love Remus. Why?"

"Have you ever thought that while you don't love Remus, he might love you?"

And, that was how Lily Evans turned his whole world upside down. For a brief moment, everything just came to a knee locking pause. Everything stopped and all the air pushed out of his lungs in a great whoosh, leaving him breathless. Sirius just froze, his blood stopped rushing and his heart skipped multiple beats. His mind came to a screeching halt. The world around him, still upside down, faded away.

Bloody buggering hell.

 _Remus_ might love him? He might _love_ him? He might love _him_? What? No matter how he worded it in his mind or thought about it, Sirius still felt stunned. It never occurred to him that Remus might feel something.. If Lily accused Sirius of it, what excused Remus of it? After all, Remus was equally affectionate to Sirius. It took two to waltz, Sirius knew, but...bloody hell.

Sirius took a deep shaky breath and his focus snapped back. He blinked and twitched with nerves. Looking at Lily, he thought she looked anxious. Slowly, he started walking again and she quickly fell into a slow march with him. This time, it was her who grabbed his hand and he felt thankful, squeezing it gratefully. Lily sighed heavily like she regretted something but didn't say another word. It wouldn't have mattered if she had. Sirius wouldn't have heard her.

He was too busy trying to prove to himself that Remus most certainly did not love him.

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"Oops."

Sirius smirked as the decidedly cute Hufflepuff gasped and looked at him in disbelief. Seeing his smirk, she sniffed angrily and stomped off, casting a drying spell as she went. Her shirt, previously, had been covered in pumpkin juice. His hand had slipped and next thing they all knew, she was offended and leaving. She'd probably never come back to finish what she started and that's exactly how he wanted it.

"Sirius, what the hell?"

Sirius ignored his fellow canine friend and glanced down at the cup that had help pumpkin juice before but was now empty. It had been an impulse that he couldn't control and he was glad he didn't. Stupid simpering girl shouldn't have been over flirting with _his_ Remus anyway. Bloody hell, he didn't just think that. Curse Lily Evans and her stupid, stupid assumptions.

Sirius didn't know exactly what he was doing. Things had gotten odd since Lily had mentioned that Remus might love him. It was the might that killed Sirius. He wanted to be sure so he could go back to being sure of his feelings. Because, up until now, he hadn't once questioned his feelings towards Remus. It had been so simple. He hadn't loved Remus and that was that. Now, however, that wasn't that.

Sirius found himself confused and terribly needy. He was desperately clinging to Remus and secretly trying to unearth how Remus felt about him. All he could see was the same thing he'd always saw from Remus. But, suddenly, everything felt different to Sirius. He started really thinking about how he truly felt about Remus. It was getting him nowhere besides exactly where he didn't want to end up. Eventually, he was going to figure out how to get to the bottom of this.

"So help me, Sirius, if you don't tell me what your problem is..."

Sirius blinked and focused on the object of his thoughts. Remus looked angry, more than Sirius had ever saw him. Did he actually like the Hufflepuff girl? Had he...had he wanted to date the girl? Sirius felt a flash of hot jealousy blast through him. He could feel Lily, James, and Peter watching him but ignored it. His mind was too befuddled to look away from Remus.

"I... What?" Sirius asked, blinking owlishly.

"Sirius, what has gotten into you? You just poured drink all over that girl and..."

"And, why do you care so much?" Sirius cut Remus off scathingly. Remus blinked and recoiled slightly. The tension rose and thickened until it nearly choked him..

"Sirius, she didn't do anything to you. That was wrong."

"So, you're defending her!?"

"Bloody hell, Sirius, you poured juice on her on purpose! And, for no reason!" Remus snapped.

"Oh. I have a reason for everything I do, thank you very much! She deserved it!" Sirius snarled.

"You're an idiot!"

"You're just mad because I interrupted her precious flirting!" Sirius squawked.

"You're ridiculous, Sirius! Absolutely mad, you are. I can't handle you." Remus huffed before standing and walking briskly out.

Sirius stayed sitting stiffly in his seat, wondering when it had come to this. He and Remus didn't fight, except for that one incident. Sirius tried to relax because he didn't care but he just grew more and more furious. But, he told himself that he didn't care. It didn't matter what Remus said. His words hadn't stung. It didn't matter that Remus had left the great hall in anger. He was probably going to follow that Hufflepuff and they would snog and-

Sirius abruptly stood, his face paling. Jerkily, he stumbled out of the bench. Without looking back to see the hope and relief on his friend's faces, Sirius broke out into a run. He was probably overreacting. But still, the image of Remus and that girl snogging or more had his blood boiling. Panic gripped him as he dashed out of the hall, looking frantically for Remus. Where did he go? Where would he have went?

Library, duh.

Sirius felt like slapping himself and took off into a run. The girl might've joined Remus there and that only bad Sirius running faster, pumping his legs harder. As he drew closer, Sirius asked himself why he cared. He couldn't find an answer and it didn't matter because he reached the library. He slipped in as silently as one could manage in his state and headed all the way to the back corner where Remus loved to go because no one else went back there. Sirius panted as he came to a stop. Remus was there and he was pacing in fury.

"Remus." Sirius gasped out. Remus glanced up at him with narrowed eyes. Sirius gulped.

"Why'd you follow me? How daft are you? I said that I couldn't handle you." Remus hissed, mindful of the rules even in his current state.

"I know but... I thought..." Sirius trailed off, not sure what to say. Remus glared at him.

"What? What did you think?"

"I thought you were snogging the Hufflepuff." Sirius admitted because what was he supposed to say? Remus growled and threw his hands up in exasperation.

"So what if I was?"

And, Sirius just snapped. Everything since Lily's accusation had been building on top of him and finally, it broke. He didn't understand anything until he said it. And, as the words poured out, he knew them to be true and he knew he meant every word. He opened his mouth and it just spewed out in a bout of word vomit that he just couldn't contain anymore.

"Because Lily's mind works in strange ways and I'm finding that maybe it's not so strange after all. Because I'm confused and that girl had no right to flirt with you. She had no right to what is mine. You're mine and I didn't know it and I wished I did but I didn't and now I've made you angry. I am an idiot and I don't know what's happening to me but I do know my thoughts have changed and it's all Lily's fault."

"I would've been fine going on as I did before but then she said that I loved you but I denied it. I believed I didn't but now I'm not so sure and she went even a step further, saying you might love me too. It's been too much, Remus, and I don't know what to do. All I want is to go back to touching you and not questioning if I did it because I loved you. And now, I want to do things that I never wanted to do before. I want to snog you and shout that you're mine so no one else can touch and I'm sorry and I'm confused. I think I might love you and please say something before I actually vomit."

Sirius felt nauseous and relieved all at once. The words had tumbled out in a rush but he had meant every syllable. And, Remus simply stared at him. Sirius felt panicky and shaky and Remus still wasn't saying anything. Dear merlin, Sirius was trembling.

"I'm going to kill Lily." Remus finally murmured. Sirius let out a shuddering breath.

"Can I help?" Sirius asked, his voice shaking so bad that he nearly bit his tongue. Remus' face stayed blank.

"She had no right to tell you that I loved you." Remus said. Sirius nearly died. He could've wept and suddenly, he could sympathize with how James felt when Lily asked him out.

"I... Did you... I mean, was she lying?" Sirius stuttered out. Remus gave him an incredulous look.

"How clueless are you? Of course, I love you, prat. She just wasn't supposed to tell you that."

"Oh gods." Sirius gasped out and his knees nearly buckled. How could that amount of relief and affection cripple him? Sirius reached out and gripped the bookshelf, flushing in mortification. Had he really almost fainted because Remus told him that he loved him?

"Okay, calm down. I see that you're a bit emotional right now." Remus muttered with a fond smile as he moved forward and grabbed Sirius by his upper arms.

Sirius lurched forward and grabbed Remus in a tight hug. He dropped his head against Remus' shoulder and clenched his fists into Remus' sweater. Remus carded one hand through his hair and the other trailed a hot path through his T-shirt down his spine. Sirius let out a small whine that resembled a dog and Remus chuckled softly, the sound reverberating through Sirius' chest. Sirius fought against the unmanly urge to cry in his relief. Remus held him until he relaxed fully.

"Bloody hell, you'll be the death of me." Sirius muttered as he leaned back.

"I sincerely hope not."

Remus' eyes were searching his face intently and Sirius' mind grew fuzzy. The pink, biteable lips were right there and Sirius couldn't pass up the chance. He was an opportunist after all. So, without taking the time to be nervous, Sirius leaned forward and pressed his lips over Remus'. Sirius' eyes flickered closed and his lips took a mind of their own.

He did indeed bite those biteable lips. He found out that Remus tasted like his favorite brand of tea and that breathing didn't really matter until you were about to die. He found out that Remus was a fantastic kisser and that adrenaline wasn't the only thing he was able to get addicted to. He found out that Remus knew just how to flick his tongue, just how to tease with his teeth, and just how to caress with his fingers, to make Sirius forget what his own bloody name was. Bloody hell, he wouldn't never, ever stop doing this, not now that he found out how perfect it really was for him.

But, what really mattered was that Sirius found out that he most certainly did love Remus after all.

.

.

.

"Oh merlin, I'm going to screw this up. I can't do this."

"Prongs, calm down. Everything will be fine. When it works out, remember me. I want to be the godfather of your first born and I want to be the best man at your wedding."

"Thanks, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled as James tried to flatten his hair once again. It was a futile attempt. He shot a look over at a vastly amused Remus. Sirius sighed and rolled his eyes, moving over to James. The bloke worried way too much for him to be so arrogant all those times before. Sirius reached up and mussed up James hair, ignoring James' cry of protest.

"Lily wouldn't admit it to save her life but she likes your messy hair." Sirius explained.

"Really?" James asked, completely baffled.

"I'm going to check on Lily. Remus, please keep him from backing out." Sirius said with a chuckle.

"Mhm." Remus murmured.

Sirius departed and headed to the common room. Lily was waiting, trying to chew a hole in her lip, apparently. Sirius shook his head, amused. Them two... Sirius cleared his throat and Lily looked up. She did look beautiful. Her wide green eyes popping, her hair falling in perfect curls, and the dress flattering her perfectly. Sirius grinned at her and kissed her cheek.

"You look stunning, darling."

"Thanks and you...don't." Lily said bluntly but she cringed apologetically.

"And why should I? I'm not going anywhere." Sirius said sounding slightly bitter.

"Well, you and Remus are walking us to the apparition point so...here." Lily said as she rifled through her purse. She pulled out a small square cloth. She tapped it with her wand and it grew into an outfit in her hands. She handed it to him with a proud grin.

"Why do I have to get dressed up? Remus apparently doesn't see it fit to take me out on a date." Sirius whined. Lily frowned at him.

Sirius would never admit it out loud but he was slightly upset that Remus, ever thoughtful Remus, didn't think to take Sirius on a date. He told Sirius he loved him and they snogged, held hands, and came out as a couple. Remus just hadn't treated Sirius out, not that Sirius should care. Somehow, though, Remus brought out his inner girl and Sirius was upset anyway. Whether he said it or not, Remus was supposed to parade him around and take him out and be the bloody guy. Hell, Sirius made it clear that he was not the dominant one.

"Just don't be mad at him." Lily said, tutting.

"I'm not... I'm just... I don't know. I want..." Sirius sighed and trailed off. He cleared his throat and shook his head. It wasn't his day, anyhow.

"Sirius..." Lily started but Sirius cut her off.

"Nevermind me, Lily-flower. You look beautiful and your Prince is coming soon." Sirius said with a smile, genuinely happy for her. She beamed.

"You're my best friend, did you know?" Lily said abruptly. She looked stepped forward and gave him a grateful hug. And Sirius, for the life of him, couldn't help but return it to with equal gratefulness. After all, it was all Lily's fault.

"What's this!? Should I be concerned?" James asked in mock annoyance as he bounded down the steps. Sirius and Lily shared grins as they parted.

"No, you shouldn't." Lily said.

"Definitely." Sirius said in sync with her. James didn't reply, too busy staring at Lily in wonderment. He was once again rendered speechless.

"This is where you tell her she's beautiful. Which, you are, by the way, Lily." Remus said as he sidled up next to James. Lily smiled at him kindly. Sirius tore his eyes from James' shock to glance at Remus. His tongue stuck to the roof of his mouth and his eyes went wide.

Oh buggering hell. Remus had changed. Apparently, James had forced him into decent clothes too. His hair was perfect and his robes made Sirius' mind run wild. Sirius attempted to open his mouth to comment and only managed to nearly swallow his tongue. His mind would not shut up pointing out that as nice as the clothes were, Remus would look better without them.

"Thanks, Remus, so do you. Go change, Sirius." Lily said politely. Sirius nodded and did as she asked, only pausing to press a searing kiss to Remus' lips, hoping to show what he was unable to say. Remus blinked rapidly and took a steadying breath as Sirius climbed the stairs so Sirius liked to think that he succeeded.

It took a bit but Sirius finally descended when he thought he looked perfect. Lily beamed at him and James whistled appreciatively. Remus stared at him in adoration, making Sirius smile slightly. There was a veiled longing in Remus' eyes and Sirius had to lick his suddenly dry lips. Remus didn't say a word but he didn't have to. The way Remus couldn't take his eyes off Sirius as they all walked to the apparition point was enough for him.

"Well, have fun, kids." Sirius said cheekily as the reached the end.

"You too!" Lily chirped before a mask of horror crossed her face and she gasped. Remus huffed and Sirius blinked.

"Lily, you can't keep a secret to save your life." Remus said but their was a tinge of fondness in his voice.

"I'm so sorry, Remus..." Lily said.

"What?" Sirius asked, feeling confused and not liking it one bit.

"Come on, Lils, let's go." James said, laughing and wrapping an arm around her. They disappeared with a crack. Sirius pursed his lips.

"What did she mean?" Sirius asked.

But, Remus didn't answer. Instead, he stepped close and wrapped his arms around Sirius. Remus dipped his head and covered Sirius' lips with his own. Sirius got kissed so thoroughly that his joints turned to jelly and he just melted. He moaned when Remus pulled back, his heart thudding and his head spinning. And, they too disappeared with a crack.

Sirius stumbled when they landed and blinked. Being pulled into apparition without warning was disorienting. He huffed and shot Remus a glare, prepared to berate him, when he caught sight of his surroundings. Whatever he was going to say died on his tongue. They were on a cliff top that was surrounded by the dark night and sparkling stars. There was a picnic blanket and a picnic basket and a wine bottle. A bloody wine bottle. Sirius nearly melted into a puddle at Remus' feet.

"Oh." Sirius breathed. Remus chuckled..

"Does that mean I won't be getting a tongue lashing for my last stunt?"

"For your last stunt, I will definitely be giving you a tongue lashing but you will enjoy it, trust me."

And, Sirius was never more infinitely grateful for Lily and her assumptions nor was he more sure that he was most certainly in love with Remus.


End file.
